Is Pastoral Restoration Biblical? The Ashley Madison Controversy Exposes Deeper Issues

Pastoral restoration? With all the moral failures in ministry lately what's a path to restoration? To my knowledge, The Bible doesn't lay out a path for "pastoral restoration" per se. I could be corrected, but all the things I have read on pastoral restoration use biblical passages on general Christian restoration. Let me propose that is because we have made the pastoral ministry something it was not meant to be. Have you ever heard the phrase "called to the pastoral ministry". That is kind of a misnomer because the role of pastor/overseer/elder are filled by particular spiritual gifts, not this huge hierarchical position that we have turned it into. That is why the the scripture only lays out qualifications for those who practice their pastoral gifts. If a man falls into a "sexual sin" he is just no longer qualified because he is not "above reproach" anymore. 

Let me ask you a question to clarify. If a person with the gift of evangelism is caught in an adulterous relationship, does that disqualify them from the spiritual gift of evangelism? No, of course not they have just fallen into sin and need to be restored, “Brothers, if anyone is caught in any transgression, you who are spiritual should restore him in a spirit of gentleness. Keep watch on yourself, lest you too be tempted. Bear one another’s burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ.”
(Galatians 6:1-2 ESV)

Or put another way. What if another with the spiritual gift of helps and hospitality has been found to have abused their hospitality, and had an inappropriate sexual relationship with a guest? Are they disqualified from the spiritual gift of hospitality? No they still have the spiritual gift they just need to be restored in a "spirit of gentleness."

I believe that the problem is that we have elevated the "ministry" to a place where I believe the New Testament did not mean it to be elevated to. The New Testament writers talk about the pastoral giftings as "one among many" gifts that are equal to any other gift in the body. So, in our current structure, when a pastor falls into sin it is more egregious than when a person with the gift of hospitality falls into an inappropriate sexual relationship. 

Also the modern pastor has more visibility than in the past. With the rise of the of the Internet with sermons online, and other organizations like the Gospel Coalition, Sovereign Grace Ministries, Acts 29, and pastoral conferences with thousands in attendance, and other such church planting and ministry training organizations, there has been this unbiblical and unhealthy move toward superstar attractional ministry leadership models. You can probably name your favorite pastor. Where do you know them from? Probably online. I am as guilty in supporting this as any other. How often have I watched a sermon from a talking head superstar pastor? How often have I read their books? How often have I visited their church or personal websites? This feeds the system. However, the New Testament had a completely different style of pastoral leadership. It was a bottom up, one of many, servant leadership type of shepherding ministry that was happy to be unknown outside of the congregation of which they were shepherds. 

They (i.e. The Apostles) didn't train for years and years in seminaries separated from the local body they had come from. Only to return later to another Church that they had no previous contact to. Being devoid of any real practical experience besides a one year practicum/internship, in which they got to preach one time on a Sunday where almost the whole church was away on vacation. See my point? We have to radically rethink the pastoral ministry. 

Besides all this. If the spiritual gifts are spread out in the congregation relatively equally, how many with the pastoral gifting would there be in a typical church. Probably in a church of 200 there might be up to 10% that's about 20 people or so with that gift. What are those men doing with their pastoral/teaching gifting? Probably sitting on their hands because the lead pastor has his "Kung-Fu grip" on the reigns of leadership. They probably aren't even aware they have a pastoral gifting. I bring this up because if there were 20 pastors of a church it would protect the church when one of the pastors fell. The church could carry on and the church would be able to "restore such a one (fallen pastor) with gentleness" without everything collapsing. But as is the current leadership structure, there is one pastor who has full and final authority. Elder and Deacon boards do nothing in practicality in those leadership structures. Actually they do something, everything the pastor tells them to do. This must change!

Let me be clear, I do not believe that a pastor caught in a extra-marital affair should just be kept in ministry after forgiving him, or one week later hired somewhere else. Or worse yet taking on a new Church Plant in a different city. What I am saying is that the whole system is unbalanced, and lends to a unbalanced pastoral ministry. We need a practical pastoral reformation, kind of like the great theologies that were won for us in the first reformation (i.e. "the priesthood of all believers."). That Priesthood of all believers needs not just to be believed, but practiced in our current congregations. In other words "every member a minister." 

The current Ashley Madison controversy exposes many problems and we are all going to talk about the sexual aspects and what is wrong with pastors. We definitely need to bring those secrets out so that the Church can deal with it, and seek to be a righteous and pure bride once again. But I want to challenge us to think in Biblical paradigms, and not to leave the current hierarchical pastoral position untouched. 

Pastor, please do not continue to usurp authority, but rather give it away. What I mean is in areas that the Bible does not prescribe for you to have authority over, please give your authority to other gifted men who are there already in your congregations. Train others to take your job and take your place. Its kind of like working yourself out of a job. In the end you and your church will be stronger and more protected as a result. Ultimately God is in control of His Church, and He will see that it is transformed from the top to bottom. Let us with renewed vigour make Jesus Lord, and ask our congregations to practice the priesthood of all believers along with us who are spiritually gifted as pastors, so that the body can be whole from the bottom on up. The most encouraging thing about Pastoral failure, or the Church being in upheaval is that Jesus still reigns! No matter how bleak things look he shall reign forevermore, and He can redeem, He can salvage, and mend all that was broken. My new favorite song is by The Silver Pages an old Hymn called "Jesus Shall Reign." I hope it encourages your heart that Jesus is the cornerstone of His church!

Superstar Preachers, Pastoral Moral Failure, and the State of the Evangelical Church

There has been a rash of moral failures in high profile pastors in the evangelical world in the past several years. I will not name any names, because I think that would be counterproductive, and not graceful to the families and men who are involved in these failures in ministry, envethough they had very public ministries and very public failures. In a quick count off the top of my head I counted more than ten pastors that I could think of off the top of my head in the last few years. What I would like to address is the current state of the American Pastor and church. What I do believe is that these failures in ministry are not about adultery, or pastoral abuse, or pornography, or alcoholism, although those things are very wrong with terrible consequences, but rather these are symptoms of much deeper issues that the church is facing and must face and come to terms with before we can move forward or ever be a righteous "city on a hill" once again. I want to first address personally what I faced in ministry, and secondly what the Church has taken on in leadership structures that I believe are unbiblical, and should change through the leadership and power of the Holy Spirit

The Current State of Pastoral Ministry

Pastoral ministry is challenging for many reasons, but most of all because you are seeking to lead people into a relationship with Christ. Because I want people to know Christ above all things, I will do whatever it takes unless it is plainly unbiblical, unethical, or immoral. But sometimes those lines can become a little blurred. This has been what I believe has happened to many pastors in my opinion over the last few years. The Slippery Slope starts with small decisions to not do the biblical, moral, or ethical thing. Let me explain.

Pastors do not decide one day that they are going to steal hundreds of thousands of dollars from their churches. They decide that they will use their ministry credit card once and then twice for personal items. Pastors don't decide one day that they want to cheat on their wives with the secretary, they make one decision to have a "working lunch" with their personal assistant and then decide to have dinner with her a few months later. A pastor doesn't decide one day that he wants to topple a church with his power structure and have that church crumble under his failures. He decides to change the church bylaws to get "everyone on board with his leadership." A pastor doesn't want to be an alcoholic, but he gradually slides down that slippery slope because he comes home in the evening and wants to "take the edge off" when faced with the unbiblical model of a multi-site megachurch that he is the superstar of. These are the small compromises that I have seen and experienced in my years in ministry. Men In ministry must take measures to be "above reproach."

Let me give you a personal example of this. When we moved to California to become youth pastor we were required to register our car 90 days after the first day it was in California. Of course I waited a few days too long. When asked on the form when the first day the car was in California, I lied that it had been in California less than 90 days to avoid the penalty. I was so convicted that I returned to the DMV to tell them that I had lied and I was there to pay the penalty. The woman at the DMV was shocked that I would even want to return to make things right. She even said I should not worry about

it, but I insisted that lying is not acceptable for me as a Christian and if you let me get away with it now then on another occasion I might also lie. I had to pay a hefty fine, but that was a powerful lesson for me and through that and other lessons I was able to build honesty into my life and ministry. Later on I accidentally used my Church credit card for personal use. I realized it later, and immediately went to our church administrator to pay back what I had spent. Integrity means that what you say, do, and think are all consistent with each other. The slippery slope that we find ourselves on is sometimes very hard to discern in pastoral ministry. The word of God gives us clear parameters, and the Holy Spirit will convict us of sin and righteousness.

Pastor, some questions that might help you avoid these pitfalls are, do you have a living, humble, needy, celebratory, affectionate, meditative, worshipful, loving, and tender, communion with Christ? If not why not? Has the ministry become your identity in Christ? or is Christ alone still your identity? Or do you, as I did often say, "I am not an emotional person." Maybe you need to open your personality up to godly changes. Ask the Lord to make you a tender, emotionally connected person, like Jesus our master. Lord remove our hearts of stone and replace them with hearts of flesh (Ezekiel 36:26)!

The Current State of the Evangelical Church
I would like to address what I also see as systematic problems within the evangelical church in America. There is such a thing as an ungodly unbiblical model of church governance and I believe the evangelical church is flirting with those unbiblical models. Here are the problems we face...

1. We are attracted to the superstar preacher. If he is charismatic and funny and a great preacher we listen and good preachers gain a following quickly in our information rich culture.
2. We are not self feeders anymore. Christians have a hard time because of superstar evangelical preachers. We don't feed ourselves spiritually we look first to those leaders/pastors.
3. We have innovated ourselves to death. Megachurch structures, multi-site campus churches, and entertainment/superstar preacher driven ministries are the byproduct of our over-engineering of church ministry, and I believe are not biblical models and should die with the pastors who plant them.
4. We overlook serious moral character flaws or outright sin (i.e. the "cussing preacher") in pastoral leadership if they are charismatic and entertaining preachers
5. We have forgotten the mandate of leadership in 2 Timothy 2:2 especially in regards to empowering and multiplying new preachers and teachers. Instead those preachers hold on to their pulpits with Kung-Fu grip.
6. The entertainment mode of ministry has so enamored the church in America it is hard to imagine any other way for the average Joe who is not gifted so charismatically to be seen and understood as successful. The average Joe minister may be very successful at making disciples, multiplying leadership, and planting new churches, but he doesn't have 5,000 sermon views a week and so we discount him as unsuccessful. We need a new ministry scorecard.
7. We have forsaken personal holiness for a consumer driven brand of church. Look at the numbers on divorce, pornography usage, alcohol abuse, etc. and it becomes clear the church of Jesus Christ looks exactly like the world. How can we be a mirror of the gospel if in reality we only mirror the world. My brothers and sisters this should not be. Ephesians 5 describes how we should walk in holiness as the church...
“Therefore be imitators of God, as beloved children. And walk in love, as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us, a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God. But sexual immorality and all impurity or covetousness must not even be named among you, as is proper among saints. Let there be no filthiness nor foolish talk nor crude joking, which are out of place, but instead let there be thanksgiving. For you may be sure of this, that everyone who is sexually immoral or impure, or who is covetous (that is, an idolater), has no inheritance in the kingdom of Christ and God. Let no one deceive you with empty words, for because of these things the wrath of God comes upon the sons of disobedience. Therefore do not become partners with them; for at one time you were darkness, but now you are light in the Lord. Walk as children of light (for the fruit of light is found in all that is good and right and true), and try to discern what is pleasing to the Lord. Take no part in the unfruitful works of darkness, but instead expose them. For it is shameful even to speak of the things that they do in secret.” (Eph.‬ ‭5:1-12‬)

I am so sad about this current trend in pastoral failure and so that is why I am writing to at least bring the topic up and investigate some solutions to systemic problems that I see. Most of all we can pray that God would bring us back to sole devotion to him, his word, and his glorious church and the proper government of that church. The hope that we always have even as fallen pastors is that the immense Grace of God extends even to us who have fallen in ministry. God is sovereign and even when we walk through the fire, even in our brokenness, and our failures, he is there and he will and can restore us. He may not restore us to ministry, but he will forgive and his grace knows no bounds. This however does not mean that we can treat his grace cheaply or take advantage of it. Thank God! That is the good news that is available to every man woman and child. It is also available to those of us who serve the Lord in professional ministry. He has taken our punishment and wrath upon himself that we might be credited with his perfect record of righteousness! Hallelujah!

Recovering From Being Fired or as Youth Pastors say "Being Pushed Out"

Maybe like me you have also served in a church that might not of wanted you as much as you thought they wanted you. I've been in those situations on a few occasions. Years ago, I came into the new Church with a lot of excitement and energy for ministry, only to find out a few months later that some of the pastors did not want me there to begin with. On one occasion, I heard later from one of the Deacons at a Church that I served at, that the search committee had made their recommendation of me to the pastor, and the pastor told the committee to keep looking. He thought that I was not God's man for our Church. His only reason, was that I wore earrings, and had an edgier approach to ministry.

These type of experiences can be very humbling difficult for those who experience them. My guess is that you currently feel, or have felt the same way at some point in your ministry career. In the places that I wasn't wanted it was never for a moral reasons. It was only ever about appearance. I came to understand that my position was more about appearance (earrings and Jeans) and style (musical preferences) than about theology and practice (of which I am very Theologically conservative). It is definitely a difficult thing to accept, when you are disliked for your appearance or style of ministry. In the American south it was especially hard to not be judged right away on appearance. I have left churches in my past for some pretty dumb and selfish reasons, but the hardest reasons to leave a church that you actually want to serve at is when you have been "pushed out" or as Donald Trump says "You're Fired."

There are several reasons that Youth Pastors get "pushed out". I will try to address a few of the big ones, and then give some helps for recovery for you.

1. Moral Failure: This is the worst way to leave a Church. When there is something that disqualifies you from ministry that is a very hard thing, and it should all make us very sad. First of all, let's never be in this position. We hear about this more than we should. Maybe a youth pastor runs off with the youth ministry assistant. The youth pastor has an affair with another woman, or the youth pastor did something financially that was not above reproach, and someone reproached. The books were all out of whack, and in fact the youth pastor had been using the Church credit card to buy thousands of dollars of stuff for personal use, including his new entertainment system. No really that happened, not to me thankfully. And on and on we hear about story after story of moral failure until we are sick to our stomachs.

Recovery: This is a hard road from repentance, to healing, to restoration. If you are willing and you have people who love you and want to restore you, then please take this journey with them. The body of Christ can be a beautiful gracious and merciful picture of the kingdom of God when we open ourselves in these situations. Please seek this out if you are in this situation. You will be amazed and blessed on the other side. Galatians 6:1 says it this way, "Brothers and Sisters, if someone is caught in a sin, you who live by the Spirit should restore that person gently. But watch yourselves or you too may be tempted." And I also beg you Church to be a place of reconciliation and healing, not a place of shame and guilt. These awful situations can be an opportunity for the grace and power of Jesus to shine.

2. Community Failure: Maybe the community of Christ has stopped acting like the faithful body of Christ, and is acting more like an organization, business, hierarchy, fraternity, country club, or even God forbid controlling and ungracious, or something else that does not resemble at all the true body of Christ (Ekklesia). Maybe it has even turned into the "Ken and Barbie Show" This is when the church also has the opportunity to repent and change into the loving, gracious, mercy filled body that Jesus has called us to be. It is hard for the Church to recognize sometimes when it has lost the point, but let us be honest and really take hard looks at ourselves in all seriousness to correct what we have done in error or sin.

Recovery: This is also a hard road to recovery. First I would encourage those of you involved in ministry who have experienced Ecclesiastical failure or abuse to hang in there. This can be the hardest road to recovery. I would encourage you to also get with a mentor who can lovingly restore you to a place where you can love the church again. I had a mentor recently ask me if I had been hurt by ministry in the Church. It is hard to answer that when you have been hurt by these man made systems that are probably not biblical in their hierarchy. We have to recover from those power systems that have hurt us, and begin through the renewing of our minds to love Christ's Church again. If we immerse ourselves in the word of God, and healthy Church communities, then we might have a chance at loving Jesus body again.

3. Pastoral Failure: Pastors sometimes get jealous, ambitious, or otherwise do not like how things are going in a youth ministry. I want to call this Pastoral or leadership failure. Maybe it starts with the pastor sharing the pulpit. The pastor starts to think that the youth pastor is a better preacher than he is. He is actually probably right on this point. The youth pastor is usually a better preacher than the senior pastor in my experience, but what sometimes happens is the pastor then gives into is a jealousy, and the thinking that "I have to get rid of this guy or he will overshadow me." This is when the push begins for some youth guys. The pastor goes to the Deacons, the Elders, or other leaders of the Church to start the youth minister witch hunt. For whatever reason, this may have happened to you. I am very familiar with this personally, and too many of my colleagues have also experienced the "pastoral push." There is hope.

Recovery: The first step is to forgive your pastor. In your prayer life ask God to give you forgiveness in your heart for him. Some steps to help you on your journey if you are involved in the same ministry are, asking for his help. Say something like, "I feel like your wisdom and leadership could really be helpful in the Youth Ministry. Could you help me with ______?" "Could you come and give me another set of eyes for what we need in the youth ministry?" "Could you come and share your sermon from a few weeks ago with the youth?" It is hard for him to be your enemy if he is helping you. It is also hard for you to be at odds if you are meeting regularly and praying together over the ministry and Church. If you have been untimely "pushed out" write the pastor an email of forgiveness telling him thank you. Include your gratefulness for your time at the church, and what things you learned from him as a result of your time at the church. It is also hard to hold a grudge or not forgive someone who you express gratitude toward. So do those things and find yourself on the way toward forgiveness, healing, and recovery.

4. Stylistic Failure: The Deacon board meets one month and a few of the Deacons/Elders/Board Members are not happy with how loud the youth group is on Wednesdays. They are also not happy about the music that blares from the youth room. The first problem is that they are talking about the youth pastor without him there. If he is a pastor in your church he should also be an Elder/Deacon, etc. If he is spiritually qualified to be a pastor then he is spiritually qualified to be an Elder/Deacon. So make him one. If he is not qualified to be an Elder/Deacon then don't hire him!!! The second failure is that you are talking about him without him there. The third problem is that no style is more Holy than another. No style of worship is more holy over against another. First PresbyBaptiMethodist worship is just as sanctified as the "Coffee Shop Church" that meets in the underground coffee house in town. Because "Where two or more are gathered in my name there I am in their midst." so Jesus said, He makes our gatherings holy, not with hymns, or choruses, or loud rocking music, but because he is there in our midst and His presence is enough! If this stylistic failure is part of your experience then you also probably have the calling to go and plant a church. Go! and do what God has called you to do. Unfortunately we are divided into so many subcultures and they are usually delineated by musical lines, and so you may be called to a specific subculture set. Don't pass it off. Really think about going into that subculture planting a missional work there that the gospel seeds will eventually turn into a church. No matter how big it becomes you have done what God has called you to.

Recovery: The way in this type of recovery is also forgiveness. The person or persons who are responsible for making the style of Church a idol may need to be forgiven by you. If that is the case I recommend going through every single scripture on forgiveness, bitterness, and repentance to be able to work that out. If you need to approach that person, and let them know, then do that. I do not recommend it most of the time though, because it can compound the problem. Also in my experience those people are immovable, inflexible, and are usually not wrong in their own eyes.

This process of being "Pushed Out" is most often the last straw for guys in ministry and they end up leaving ministry. I hope and pray that is not the case with you. My goal at Youth Pastor Recovery is to help you 1) keep walking with Christ and 2) stay in ministry. If any of these things have happened to you in ministry I want to say, I am sorry, and hang in there don't give up on Christ, and don't give up on His Church. He is there watching after us, and there is an expression of Church out there that will be like a healing balm to your soul. God bless you on your journey to recovery. I hope and pray that Christ can become your obsession again. Here is some worship to help you begin that journey.